The Art of Listening: Not Everyone is Ready to Listen to Others

The Problem

Have you ever been in a heated argument with a colleague about a work-related issue? Everyone has their own reasoning, everyone believes they are right and no one is willing to back down. It would be fine if they could find a common ground after these arguments. After all, the ultimate goal of the issue is to find a solution. It would be even worse if the story ends in the frustration of both parties without any proposed solution. In fact, if this continues, it may create prejudice against each other, and this is definitely not desirable.

You may have never experienced such a tense situation, but at least you have encountered it with your colleagues. Remember, what were the results of these arguments? If you are an outsider, have you ever wondered why they didn't calmly sit down and have a meaningful conversation to solve the problem? Or if unfortunately you are in that situation, what is the wisest way to resolve it?

There have been many articles and studies discussing the harmful effects of losing control in anger. The more we lose our composure, the more our reasoning and logic decline, and instead we may unintentionally or intentionally say hurtful things to the other person.

When reading this article, it is likely that you are in a normal emotional state, so you are ready to continue reading. So why not keep a cool head and always be ready to listen to your colleagues?

Listening is a form of intelligence

Listening is one of the skills of people with emotional intelligence (EQ). Emotional intelligence is demonstrated by your ability to apply your own emotional intelligence to handle real-life situations and ultimately protect the ultimate goal of each individual. Your goal may be to solve the problem and make others agree happily. So if you know how to listen, it shows that you know how to solve problems more effectively.

There are many incidents that lead to conflicts in the workplace. Setting aside subjective factors such as not liking the other person, bias, etc., most conflicts stem from not understanding each other's intentions. And not understanding each other's intentions is almost the result of not listening to what the other person has to say. Some only listen to what they want to hear and quickly refute it even though the other person hasn't finished speaking.

But knowledge in life is enormous, and what you know is not necessarily complete.

Instead of rushing to interrupt or immediately express your own opinion while others are speaking, listen to what they are trying to convey. I have witnessed many arguments that end up being a waste of time because people do not understand each other. The appropriate idiom for this case is "Two people, two minds".

Applying it in the workplace

In the workplace, I believe that emotions should not overpower us. For example, you and your colleagues may argue passionately, which is completely normal in order to achieve the ultimate goal of finding a solution. But when you leave work, be good friends in society.

Or if you know how to listen, I'm sure you will rarely get into heated debates with others. Because you know that once you get angry, your mind becomes less rational. The wise saying "losing your temper is losing your mind" has some truth to it. Instead, why not stay calm and listen carefully to what the other person wants to convey, and then think deeply before giving an answer?

People's egos often prevent them from accepting that they are wrong. But if you listen and point out the weaknesses in their words, they will somewhat recognize their mistakes and admire you.

Learning to listen

I used to have a habit of interrupting others, thinking that they were talking about something I already knew, so I would respond immediately. But that mostly caused a lot of trouble because the truth is not always that way, my colleagues are always a source of inspiration with their own thoughts, and listening helps me realize that. Occasionally, the thought "So he is thinking that way" flashes through my mind. Thanks to that, I have learned many things from my colleagues' thoughts.

Learning to listen is not difficult, nor is it simple. It depends a lot on you, do you want to change or not? If you do, then determine with a determined mindset to practice.

First, practice listening to others until they finish speaking before answering, avoiding interruptions while they are talking. This shows your respect for them and makes them want to communicate more information with you. From there, accelerate the process of exchanging information and understanding each other better.

The key to listening lies in focus. Obviously, you cannot listen if you are thinking about something else in your head. At that time, unconsciously, you may blurt out questions like "What did you say?"... disrupting the flow of communication.

While listening, don't try to interject your opposing thoughts into the other person's ideas. Listen fully to understand what the other person is trying to convey. Many studies have shown that the human brain can only concentrate well on one thing at a time. If you multitask, you are easily distracted, thereby reducing the ability to fully receive information.

After listening, take time to think before giving your answer. This shows your cooperation with the other person, as you have listened and are in the process of thinking to give an answer. The action of thinking before answering helps you give a more convincing response.

Repeat the above steps, and gradually you will develop the habit of listening. At this point, listening becomes a natural conditioned reflex whenever you have a debate. From there, it brings unexpected effectiveness to you and your colleagues.

Conclusion

In summary, in this article, what I want to say is that listening is a form of intelligence and what value it brings to you in the business environment. However, I hope that you can extend it to your social life as well. Because knowing how to listen can help you learn more from the intelligence of others.